TRI TRAINING WEEK Number 3 1/2: Training Through the Sad
As I type a dear dear friend is in labor having her first child! What an exciting night. I had thought the storms we had yesterday might have her having the baby, so I called her. A day later here she is!
Why am I talking about my friend being in labor? Why write this blog a few days early? I had a rough training weekend. And I wanted to talk about it. I am super excited for my friend. But I also feel that in breaking up with my boyfriend this past week. That most likely was the last chance for me to have kids of my own. I am 36 and I really don't see myself having a child in my 40s. And well. So that is that. I mean there is still a small chance but to cultivate a relationship and feel like having a child...the time is disappearing.
Still why talk about this in my training blog? Well, one I over share. And two, I don't train in a bubble. I don't train in an ideal world where other things don't get in the way. I train in a world of emotions and responsibilities. I have a job. I have an art career. I had a romantic relationship.
So I didn't get to the walking I was supposed to do last week. And I totally dropped the ball this weekend. Or somewhat did. I ate healthily. I danced for 3 HOURS to Prince music. But mostly, I was so sad and tired. I missed out on an important training weekend.
Now in all honesty, this is a turning point in my training. Do I just STOP? I mean I could. The person I thought would be cheering me on won't be at the finish line. I could just stay fat now that I don't have a partner to be thin and healthy for.
But I knew in the back of my mind that I would keep going. I did my first Tri single. I do them to stay in shape and be good to myself. But missing a big bike ride is not a good idea. I am supposed to be BUILDING up! The next two weeks are the most difficult.
But I let my dance party be my exercise this weekend. And I drank some booze. And I let loose. Let my friends buoy my up. By dancing with me.
And I got home from work tonight. And I busted my butt to get out and get a bike ride in before the sun went down at 9pm. And I got back to it. And I will continue to sneak my training in around art presentations. And work. And tough nights of feeling sorry for myself. Cause if doing a Tri teaches me anything is that I can strive for things and achieve them. And that I am a pretty amazing person. Not really for completing the Tri but for trying in the first place. That being an adventurer and ambitious are not terrible. Maybe I will never have kids, maybe I will never find the right partner. But no matter, my life is blessed. I have a strong enough body to train. I have a big heart and good friends. A job. And I need to train through being sad. I need to train when I am feeling happy. So I keep going.
Why am I talking about my friend being in labor? Why write this blog a few days early? I had a rough training weekend. And I wanted to talk about it. I am super excited for my friend. But I also feel that in breaking up with my boyfriend this past week. That most likely was the last chance for me to have kids of my own. I am 36 and I really don't see myself having a child in my 40s. And well. So that is that. I mean there is still a small chance but to cultivate a relationship and feel like having a child...the time is disappearing.
Still why talk about this in my training blog? Well, one I over share. And two, I don't train in a bubble. I don't train in an ideal world where other things don't get in the way. I train in a world of emotions and responsibilities. I have a job. I have an art career. I had a romantic relationship.
So I didn't get to the walking I was supposed to do last week. And I totally dropped the ball this weekend. Or somewhat did. I ate healthily. I danced for 3 HOURS to Prince music. But mostly, I was so sad and tired. I missed out on an important training weekend.
Now in all honesty, this is a turning point in my training. Do I just STOP? I mean I could. The person I thought would be cheering me on won't be at the finish line. I could just stay fat now that I don't have a partner to be thin and healthy for.
But I knew in the back of my mind that I would keep going. I did my first Tri single. I do them to stay in shape and be good to myself. But missing a big bike ride is not a good idea. I am supposed to be BUILDING up! The next two weeks are the most difficult.
But I let my dance party be my exercise this weekend. And I drank some booze. And I let loose. Let my friends buoy my up. By dancing with me.
And I got home from work tonight. And I busted my butt to get out and get a bike ride in before the sun went down at 9pm. And I got back to it. And I will continue to sneak my training in around art presentations. And work. And tough nights of feeling sorry for myself. Cause if doing a Tri teaches me anything is that I can strive for things and achieve them. And that I am a pretty amazing person. Not really for completing the Tri but for trying in the first place. That being an adventurer and ambitious are not terrible. Maybe I will never have kids, maybe I will never find the right partner. But no matter, my life is blessed. I have a strong enough body to train. I have a big heart and good friends. A job. And I need to train through being sad. I need to train when I am feeling happy. So I keep going.
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